A pretty big chunk of the b2b side of Gromski House is working with professionals to establish their actual needs vs. the trends they see or others they are comparing themselves to. This 1000% trickles down to us as individual humans as well. We compare everything - our business, our personal lives, homes, kids, family photo sessions, all of it - and I'm not talking 'Keeping Up With the Jones' or some worldly lesson. These are just things we often do without realizing it.

Now, I call myself a confidant for legal reasons. I'm not a therapist, a counselor or even a coach, but several years ago I took on the role of confidant to someone who really needed it. Seeing this was something I was good at - listening, encouraging, lending some advice where possible, I've been able to expand that professionally.

What? You didn't know? That's the point. I'd never come to the table with too much talk of my latest breakthrough with a client, because they might be uncomfortable if anyone put it together. 

One thing I can tell you as a Professional Confidant is this: it's never just work. Getting to the root of so much of the pressure my clients have nearly always leads to their whole-life, not just work-life.

Which is where I begin The Bucket conversation with them. The Bucket Philosophy was my coping mechanism for "wearing too many hats”' in an era that rallied the ever elusive myth of Work Life Balance. (Huge shoutout to Executive Coach Julie Couret for dropping that truth bomb in 2018 - there is no balance). 

Today I'm going to break down The Buckets, and give you a tool for visualizing everything you've got going on, and ultimately how to carry it all well (for free, you're welcome, but let me know if you'd like to talk about it sometime!) Did I create The Bucket Philosophy? Of course not, but I've fine tuned it in a way that has worked for myself and others, and good applications should be shared!

You are carrying a lot of buckets, and you're probably not doing a very good job with them all at once because you only have two hands. Think of all the aspects of your life, can you list them? You might not have a clear enough list. Often we lump too many things into one category like "Home Life" not realizing there is SO much more than a single catch-all for home. 

You're probably reading this on your phone, do me a favor and open your note app, start a new note and title it Buckets (side note: Google's Keep App is my FAVORITE note app for mobile typing). As you think of different specific areas of your life that require your attention, time and focus - add it.

For reference, I'll share mine:

• Wife Tina
• Dog Mom Tina
• Day Job Tina
• GH Tina
• Sister Tina
• Daughter Tina
• Aunt Tina
• Friend Tina
• Core Group of Friends Tina (there is a difference, and deeper needs here, and that's ok!)
• Self Care Tina (my time with God lives here, I'm not going to preach to anyone - but make time for your soul!)
• Homemaker Tina
• Writer Tina
• Confidant Tina
• Community Tina

That's fourteen buckets for me. Think about the traditional way of thinking - of "juggling it all". It's unreasonable and you're going to drop or damage a lot. That is why I started my mental bucket system. Realistically, we can carry two physical buckets at a time, right? Maybe we can balance a third on our head while we're at it, but that's where we cap out. So, I began giving myself the grace of putting down all but 2-3 buckets at a time. I give myself mental and emotional space as well, purposefully putting things in buckets so that I don't have the weight of the emotional load looming over me - and let me tell you, when you are intentional about the separation it CAN work.

Let’s take my typical Wednesday for example, from 8-5 I’m carrying my Day Job bucket, it gets a lot of my focus. I allow myself one other bucket during the work day (let’s talk some time about healthy distraction - you’ll love it), working from home, that’s often the Dog Mom bucket, the Homemaker Bucket (do you have any idea how much deep cleaning you can get done in a week when you use a 15 minute break each day?), the Sister and Daughter Buckets and the Self Care bucket. During my lunch hour, more often than not I’m back to holding my Gromski House bucket. When the work day ends, I gently place the Day Job bucket in it’s place on my brain-shelf, and grab the next major bucket.

This structure helps me do a few things:

1. Clean separation of priorities - I know my day job is #1 40 hours out of my week. I get to prioritize all my other buckets for the rest of the week based on the biggest need. 
2. Minimizes Distractions - Having those upcoming timeslots of being able to pick up the other buckets keeps me from being distracted.
3. Give Myself Grace - When you see it all laid out, you can be more reasonable with yourself about personal expectations, and what you’re able to promise others.

Do I think The Bucket Philosophy can fix all your over-extended woes? Not a chance. But it’s a great start! Let me know if I can help you get your buckets in order!

Tina